Monday, July 12, 2010

Thunderstorms

I really do not like thunderstorms. I'm not sure how this happened but ever since I remember, I truly hated thunderstorms. One of my earliest memories happened when there was a really bad one. I think I was 7 or 8. It was 11pm, and my dad sat with me as the lightening lit up the sky and thunder crashed the air. My dad put on my radio and it played "Shout, Shout le it all out these are the things I could do without...."

As I sit here tonight, thunder is crashing. I usually run & hide in the hallway. Even in my thirties. However, I try to be strong for my daughter. She is 3 and so far has no fear of storms. Once she felt a little nervous, and she said "Well Mommy I am only three." I couldn't argue that.

Jeff has also helped me overcome a lot of my fears. I was a very fearful person before I met him. Everyone told me how strong I was before I met him because of dealing with my late husband's suicide, single motherhood and CP. However, I just had to. But with fears, we let them take over our minds. Jeff helped me look at the bright side. Life doesn't have to be full of pain and disappointments. Life can be happy with some sadness.

The fact that I'm still typing as we're in a pretty strong thunderstorm is a true testament to how much I changed. Usually the first sign of lightening I would be in the hallway praying Hail Mary's. It's true that I probably cannot sleep through a storm yet but at least I'm not in a state of panic. Laura and Jeff are fast asleep...

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