Tuesday, June 21, 2011

iPad makes me happy

My kindle is wonderful when it comes to books. Lately I've been using Jeff's iPad. He hardly uses it anymore. At first, I didn't think I would use it because I thought it would be too difficult with my cerebral palsy. Now I love it.

I use it mainly in the living room and I can be with Laura as I write. My favorite apps are pages, planner, day one etc. Jeff and I play monopoly on it. I have a few games on it for Laura but we mainly let her use my old iPod touch.

I've been very tired all week. I don't like being tired but I'm guessing it's because change of schedule.

Monday, June 20, 2011

First day of camp

Camp has begun for Laura. I decided to let my daughter go to camp because she did so well in pre school. You sign the child up week by week. Laura is going to go every other week due to vacation and I just want to have some lazy days of summer.

Laura woke up on time and was all dressed before knocking at our door. She was excited. Donna worked as my attendant today. She came right on time at 8 and Laura had pancakes. Her favorite right now are mini pancakes from giant. I got ready and said good bye to Jeff. He worked 9-6 today.

When we dropped her off, we learned that there was 550 kids signed up for camp this week in total. It was fun seeing all the excitement in the air. One of Laura's pre school teacher is a pre school camp leader. Laura ran up and gave her a hug.

After I dropped her off, I came home to make a few calls. I also ate some cereal and went to do my weekly shopping. We went to acme, walgreens , and giant. Somehow we still made it in time to be 10 minutes early to pick up Laura by 12.

It was so cute to see Laura marching out with her group. They gave them blue camp shirts to wear. They also made masks that allowed them to "see monsters." Laura was happy and said she played with a little boy named, Liam.

After rushing home, we put groceries away and ate lunch. We then went back to the YMCA for her cooking class.

I might not always like my crazy schedule but I think Laura learns a lot. It's worth it. If Jeff and I decide to have another baby, I hope I can keep the same energy. Jeff told me last night that maybe I should start stocking up on diapers. We shall see.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Let's dance

I have my degree in teaching. I absolutely love to teach. I used to set up my dolls and teach them. Then on the school van I taught two little girls on our long trip to school. Also, when I was in special education , I'd teach others when I was bored and because I enjoyed it.

I also have had a love of dancing. When Jeff first showed interest in dating, he immediately mentioned going to a place called maddie's. I was excited because I love dancing. I was also intimidated at first because not many people go dancing when they have a disability. To this day, I still feel a bit shy sometimes

I took my love of dancing with my love for teaching and contacted the Spring Valley YMCA to allow me to teach a class. Everything is looking positive but I'll find out on Monday for sure. M

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Laura asks ,"can I help?". Several times a day

Laura has always strived to help. This isn't something that can be taught except maybe by modeling or encouraging. With Laura, helping is instinct.

When I planned on being a mom, one of my goals was to not have Laura help me in my care with CP. I didn't want her to be robbed of her childhood or resent me when she was older. However, as she grew, I realized my goal was somewhat unrealistic.

It probably started at age one when she fed me a bite of food. Then it carried into trying to brush my teeth by putting her hand on the caregivers hand. She then loved to help pick out my clothes and giving me her fashion advice.

I remember when an attendant called off. I already taught her how to turn on/off a shower so I figured that I could get her assistance. She had a blast pouring shampoo on my hair too. Other than that , I could handle it. I picked out an easy outfit that I could manage. Keep in mind I am more independent on the floor so that takes away falling risks.

As I got out of the shower, I quickly realized that I was unable to put deodorant on myself. I felt bad asking Laura and a little humiliated too, for some reason. I think parents like to appear strong to their kids even though no one is perfect.

My creativity kicked in and I asked her if she would help mommy paint her arms. She giggled and did a pretty good job! She then "painted" het stomach.

I think asking your child to help isn't horrible unless it's their main duty and daily occurrence. Laura loves helping with cleaning, organization projects and anything really. She gets upset when she can't help or isn't needed.

Marriage - ever changing, and hopefully, ever improving

It's no secret that I was married for almost five years prior to having Jeff in my life. What surprised me was that those years didn't prepare me for my relationship now. I admit- I thought second time around would be a breeze because I literally went the gamut with Israel. We had our share of joy, calmness to verbal abuse and scary times.

Jeff and I are very similar but in areas of being different-we are complete opposite. When I met Jeff, I actually took a mental break from dating and guys. I went on a few dates that just were strange or we didn't click. Then I got an email on myspace (yes,back when myspace was cool.)

I thought it was spam. It seemed generic - "you're cute - let's chat sometime." I almost deleted it, however, something stopped me. I wrote back and we started talking online. We went on our first date two days later!

Anyway before I get too far off topic-I have learned so much about myself, life, and how to relate to people through my relationship with Jeff. Every relationship is unique. What worked then doesn't necessarily work now.

I feel in areas where I'm nothing like Jeff to embrace the difference. Find the good in someone is so important even if it pulls you out of your comfort zone. He has changed and grew also. It is hard to believe that we haven't been together for three years yet. We're growing together one day at a time.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011


Today was around 96. Laura has been busy painting. She is very good at occupying herself. She plays barbies and with her stuffed animals.

I've written two articles and did some research. I talked to Jeff before work. We have been talking about careers a lot lately and various home improvement projects. After lunch, I played outside with Laura - sand box and hide and go seek. She informed me that my wheelchair doesn't hide too well. She was the designated hider.

We came in after 30min because of the heat. Now I'm updating our ipad and iphone. I'd like to write 1 more article today. Tomorrow I want to shop at Kohl's for Father's Day stuff.

As a Mom who works from home, it can be a challenge. Laura sees me working but yet I'm home. It's a hard temptation not to always play with her. Tonight we watched TV and played with her horse who according to Laura was "damaged in an accident and needs a body cast." She went to bed around 8. Tomorrow is her last art class.

Thursday, June 2, 2011


I was thinking about my school days today. Having a disability back in the 80s compared to today is a lot different. We were in segregated classes because children with disabilities especially severe couldn't be in the regular class. I felt confused and a sense of wonder why this was. I longed to be in a regular class.

I wonder if my experiences will affect Laura. I'm hoping that I can relate and understand as she enters into her school years.

I often had trouble making friends with children without disabilities. Mainly because I wasn't used to them and in a way, felt intimidated or perhaps second class. Laura has no problem at all making friends. Some kids ask her if I'm really her mom and she will say ,"Yes, that is my mom!" Then came to give me a big hug!!

How society views people who have cerebral palsy

Have you ever had a day when you forget that you have cerebral palsy? You simply wake up, do your normal routine and don't even think ab...