Urge for heels

On Friday night Jeff and I went dancing to see No Apology at Molly Macguires in Phoenixville. The weather was extremely hot but we went anyway. I wore a cool dress. I call it my Cheetah dress because it is leopard print. I also wore black tiny heels that I love because they fit. I feared it was going to be crowded since it was First Friday - when everyone comes out and enjoys Phoenixville. But I was wrong - it wasn't so bad.

The band was good and I was impressed considering it was so hot. I don't think I could perform for 3 hours or more. I didn't dance right away. Even though I've came along way in confidence, I still fight the demons of jealously when a woman is dancing in high heels. I so want to do that. I try to fight these feelings and do the best I can.

Unfortunately, high heels has this insane representation of looking attractive. I'm not a guy so I don't get how looking taller and showing off calf muscles is so amazing. But they think so. I am pretty muscular but it often goes unseen unless you really look or know me.

So sitting down when all these women stand around me makes me feel like a square peg in a circular board. It's easy to lose sight that I'm there for Jeff, the band and not my ego.

On an episode of Push Girls, they were discussing if a miracle came and you could walk, would you do it? It's hard to answer. Many of you might think that it would be easy to jump at, however, being in a wheelchair gives you unique challenges, experiences and outlooks.

One thing I would love is to have more control of my arms and hands. Feeding myself, writing, driving, cooking, putting on my make up and so on would be so much easier. As a mother, when Laura was a baby, doing those baby things would have been easier as well.

So after I swallowed my pride, I danced. Drive By by Train came on and Jeff and I danced to it. One guy was pretty impressed and two other guys wanted to dance with me. However, I mainly danced with Jeff. I'd sure would love to experience dancing in heels but when I looked at the girls who were, they looked uncomfortable and had the dorkiest guys chasing them. Maybe it's not what it's cracked up to be.


  1. Wow, Jess, I love your comments. It gives me so much insight into how you feel. You're such an insightful, intelligent aand beautiful woman, wife, mother, sister,daughter, friend and daughhter-in-law. We all learn so much from you. You should had teacher to yor vitae, you're so good at it. You could never be a square peg, you fit in so well in so many situations. Your smile lights up a room.

    And believe me, heels are not at all what the're cracked up to be!!! They're not only uncomfortable, they're dangerous, wreck your posture, your feet and throw off your spine. I was rarely happier than the day I was able to stop wearing them.


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