Conversations from Heaven

Last night as Laura was helping feeding Jason, she bought up the subject of Israel. Whenever she brings him up, I always get a lump in my throat. I always feel bad for her because its a whole I just can't fulfill.

The conversation came up because she asked why was she the only one with blond hair in the family. I gently explained that Israel had blond hair and she got that trait from him. Then she inquired that Jason was Israel's son even if he was in Heaven.

Big sigh.

Without getting into all the technicalities, I explained that me and Israel created her and me and Jeff created Jason. I said that they are brother and sister always because I'm both their mommy. Then it really hurt my heart for her.

Laura started to cry and asked me to stop talking about her father. She said it hurt so much. Then she told me that she told her friends at school that her dad took too much medicine and died. At first, I thought I'd be receiving phone calls about Jeff dying!! But, of course, she accurately explained that it was her first Dad and not her second.

I hope the other parents won't be upset when the kids tell them how he died. I always believed in being honest with her to her understanding. She doesn't know he did it on purpose though, but I know that will come soon enough.



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