Monday, February 2, 2015

2:58 forever time

2:58am. That is the time that Laura entered into this world on September 21, 2006. That moment changed me completely and forever. But there is something else going on with that time.

As many of you know, I'm a Catholic and happily believe in the faith of the Catholic Church.  I also believe when someone dies, they aren't out of your life completely.  I believe they are quietly helping you through your journey until it's your turn to join Heaven.

I never believed this way until Israel died.  No one knew Israel died until 8:30pm but about 1pm,  I started getting signs that my gut could not deny that he had died. I'll never forget when I was sitting at my sister's unsure about the future.   I looked out the window and a dove sat on the window sill.  The dove stared back at me for awhile.  It was as if we were having a conversation, and Israel was telling me, "yes doves mate for life, but he had to leave me now." Then I knew that he had most likely had died and his soul was set free from his own mental demons.

Israel loved holding my left hand.  For months after he died, I would feel his touch on my hand. It wasn't my imagination because it happened at times that I wasn't even thinking about him.  It would first startle me then comfort me. This hasn't happened in a very long time and probably out of respect of Jeff.

Lights often flickered in my house. It was to the point where others noticed it too.  One night I was in bed and the fan sitting on my dresser turned on across the room.  Another time I woke up and the light on my bedside table was on.  Now all of this would normally freak me out or I would pass it off as my imagination.  But I just knew it was his way of telling me he still cared and was there.

So back to 2:58.  I don't remember exactly when it started but it was after he died.  I either wake up at 2:58am or in the afternoon, I just am triggered to look at the clock at 2:58.  This happened today, and I decided it would be a neat thing to blog about.

I definitely think this is also Israel giving me a sign.  Having Laura was the most amazing thing and he loved her completely. So, he's reminding me of the best thing that happened to us in that relationship.  It makes me think about Laura as well which is always pleasant.

Like many people, I'm terrified of the unknown of death. However, these little reminders knowing that love continues even after death eases some of my fear.

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