Post bi lateral mastectomy life

Too much that I'd like to say that my energy will allow. But I survived a bi lateral mastectomy and an emergency surgery for a hematoma with having cerebral palsy.  Considering most women with cerebral palsy who have breast cancer, unfortunately die, I consider myself blessed.  It's been a long road with mammograms, ultrasounds, biopsy and a lumpectomy all leading to my mastectomy. 

After getting my children, pets, finances and all the other needs completed, I was in the hospital for three and half days.  Recovery is going better than my husband and caregivers and friends expected.  I'm not used to lack of energy but each day, I'm eating more and less pain from bruises. I gave up on heavy pain killers on Monday due to nausea.

I hand it to my personal care attendant (more friend) who learned quickly new procedures and had the patience in all care involved. Plus she took care of my crazy dog who went bizarre when I was away, kept Jason busy when I couldn't and the house clean.  My husband stayed by my side from day one through day and night in a ridiculously uncomfortable chair.  My mom was there to make sure everything was going ok, I loved seeing my sister and my dad even surprised me by bringing by Laura.  My in laws visited for a few minutes as well.

Last Saturday, when I needed emergency surgery, it was so painful and scary.  I never saw Jeff look at me with fear as if it were the last time. He said I was white as a bed sheet.  You see, when they did the surgery on Friday, the recovery nurses weren't very attentive.  I was alone in a way and my spasms were very uncontrollable.  My cerebral palsy makes my muscles have uncontrolled movements and fear plus pain intensifies everything.  u finally asked for Valium but I think I might have torn something as I was having spasms.  It's hard to say and no one can tell.  But after my emergency surgery on Saturday morning, they put me in recovery ICU with a very attentive nurse that administered Valium and had me secure from the get go.

I remember looking out the window at the snow from the ICU. The nurse remarked on the beauty of it as I fell back to sleep.  Jeff and my Mom were very excited to see me again and I wasn't in intense pain as I was on Friday and Saturday morning.  I could eat finally and after my mom left, Jeff and I slept deeply. So deeply that when my sister came to visit, she felt bad that we were asleep and waited an hour before waking us up.

Recovery hasn't been the easiest thing in the world.  I stayed in the hospital until Monday morning.  I had some issues with eating and vomiting.  One of my worst complaints is how bruised and sore my right arm had been.  My right side is, of course, my most independent side. Moving it just an inch hurt.  I was extremely weak especially in the hospital. To my surprise, I was unable to text on my phone more than three to four words and when I was in my wheelchair, I could barely drive.  My arm and hand were too weak.  But all the nurses enjoyed that I had a smile and always thanked them for their help.

Coming home wasn't too painful but I slept.  I was very happy to see Jason even though I couldn't play with him.  I talked to Shawn some and tried to eat something.  Jeff set me up in the recliner and before I knew it, I was asleep as Jeff explained how to care for my drains etc.  Jason sat with me for a few minutes.

Thanks to a friend, I signed up for Meal Train which has been a huge help.  Family, friends and community members can sign up to bring you dinner as you recover from surgery or a new baby.  Excellent idea and such a big help.  The first night, Jeff's mom bought lasagna.  Unfortunately, I was still pretty out of it but managed to eat some.  My mom came too and helped me sip coke to settle my stomach.

It has been an interesting week, tiring and humbling. Each day I'm able to gain some strength or energy.  On Monday, hopefully my drains will be removed and gain even more independence.  If you have cerebral palsy or any disability, please get a mammogram. Everything that I went through has been difficult but I'm a survivor and you can be one too.

Meal Train


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