Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Six years married and he still holds my hand

On June 26, Jeff and I celebrated six years of marriage. Marriage is rewarding but can be a complex. I always tell young women and men to marry for love but also common ground.  Marrying someone who is opposite of you doesn't always work. People usually do not change and will resent you for making them do so. Remember marriage is a lifetime commitment and with more things not not in conmon can make a long lifetime.

Jeff and I are a pretty good mix. I think we have more in common than not, and we try to look for common ground.  We, of course, don't agree on everything or like everything we do. That's the challenge of marriage- to negotiate and live in peace without anyone giving up their happiness.  

After six years, we've been through our share of experiences, sadness, happiness and the unexpected.  Sometimes it felt like we had a hard time even keeping our heads above all the chaos circling us.  Cancer and nursing school were a big challenge for our marriage. Both were unknown and scary but we just kept holding hands to let each other know that we aren't alone. 

My goal for us is not only never divorce but not to want a divorce.  I want to be happy and enjoy my life. Unfortunately, I had the experience of being in a marriage that I had no business in being in. I now have beautiful Laura from that marriage, but I also carry lots of pain, fear and mistrust.  I married then for love without thinking if we would be compatible for the rest of our lives.  I knew better with Jeff, and he knew better from his previous relationships.

In previous anniversaries, we went to concerts, dinner or something else just the two of us.  This year we decided to include Jason and Laura too.  They are a big part of who we are. We want to be a better couple so they can have a good model to copy when they look for marriage partners. We don't want them to have terrible marriages due to our behavior.

We went to a family festival at Malvern Retreat House.  The weather resembled the weather on our wedding day - blue skies, warm sunshine and a light breeze.  Music, food and kid activities are an excellent recipe for fun.  Jason spent most of the day filling up water balloons with the volunteers. He loved doing this that we think he'll make a great camp counselor one day. Laura spent most of the day listening to the bands with us. She would run around too and kept tabs on her brother.  It was a very enjoyable day and great to be together.

Who knows what to expect this year of marriage? Hopefully, it won't be cancer or other scary illnesses. Hopefully we will grow and learn together to reach goals plus raise our children to be strong, smart and kind.  At the end of the day, you can rest assured, that Jeff and I will be soaking it all in holding hands.


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